Self Sabotage- Are you Guilty?

(Cher Ewing, CC)

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I hear this from my clients all the time, they are “Self Sabotaging” themselves and don’t know why. I know I was guilty of doing this in year two and didn’t even realize I was doing it. For me I fell into a comfort zone, I liked the new clothes I was wearing, my new found self assured attitude, and my life focus had shifted. I believe we all have different reasons as to why we sabotage our weight loss efforts. Being successful brings a whole new “Spotlight” on us and that scares the hell out of us. With success brings responsibility, commitment, and life change. Who wants to take all of that on, I know I didn’t. Or we are afraid of the new found attention we are going to receive; attention from the opposite sex, our boss will have higher expectations from us, our friends and family want more from us.
We can make excuses all day long as to why we do what we do, bottom line is you signed up for a “Life Changing” surgery. Are you going to continue to make excuses or are you going to embrace the life you signed up for and commit to the change? If you want to continue to make excuses then I’m sure you have heard the old saying “If you continue to do what you have always done, expect to receive the same results”. Nothing is going to change until you are ready to change. If you have agreed to commit to change then there are some things you can start doing today to help ensure you achieve success like never before.

1. Pre-Surgery- Remember back to your pre-surgery week, you were ready to take on the world. Bring that sense of excitement back into your life and watch yourself soar.
2. Remove unrealistic goals- Dr. Vuong says it best “Don’t commit to run the Boston Marathon if you don’t even own a pair of running shoes” You don’t have to take on the world in a day. Set realistic goals for yourself, write those goals down and follow through.
3. The Buddy System- Let others help you; you don’t have to take this journey alone. We need to be accountable to someone, find someone who is taking the same journey you are. Commit your goals to them and allow them to do the same. When we have others accountable to us, it’s so much easier to be accountable to ourselves.
4. Food- Create a food diary and keep track what you are eating. Dr. Terry Simpson has a great tip: Using your cell phone take pictures of everything you eat throughout the day, take a picture of your meal before you eat it then another after your done. This will give you clarity as to what you are really consuming throughout the day.
5. Exercise- If you have not already committed to an exercise program, and then you are not going to achieve the results you want from your “WLS” journey. Find something you love and yes I mean love. If you choose an exercise program you dread, guess what is going to happen, you are going to make excuses as to why you can’t do it. By finding something you love you will be excited to do it.
6. Self Care- We always want to take care of everyone else first, we always put ourselves on the back burner. Honestly would you treat your children, friends and family the way you treat yourself? I’m guessing no. We want to give our best to our children, friends and family. But guess what by placing ourselves on the back burner we are not giving them our best. Take some time to enjoy the things you like to do. Go to the movies with your girlfriends, go play a round of golf, reconnect with an old hobby, just find something that gives back to you.
7. Purge the negative- If you have something or someone who is bringing negative energy into your life; purge it. We have so much going on in our lives we don’t need any negative outsiders bringing us down. Negativity just drains you and sucks up your energy, make a decision it’s going to stop.
8. Celebrate the positive- Look at all you have accomplished to date. You have made changes, you’ve lost weight, went down a size or two or three. Remember how good you felt when you accomplished small milestones; think how good you are going to feel when you accomplish big milestones.
9. Follow up- If it has been a while since you have seen your surgeon, make an appointment. Don’t give me the excuse he/she is going to yell at you because you have gained weight. Go in with the mind set you are coming clean and you are ready to commit to the process. Your surgeon works for you, you are paying them to “Care” for you so go get the care you need.
10. Coaching- If you still think this overwhelming contact me to set up a complementary coaching session. I know it can be overwhelming; but with a game plan in place you can turn this around. I can help you find out what is blocking you from the success you need and deserve.

Cher Ewing, CC Certified Health & Wellness Coach www.bandedtogether.net cher@bandedtogether.net

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Are you worth the effort?

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I hear this from my clients more than I would like to admit “I’m not worth the effort, time or energy required to be successful in my weight loss efforts”. As I’m coaching my clients I hear this over and over. Some of them don’t say it in so many words; it’s more of their actions than the actual words.

Most people want to put the needs of their family, friends and work before their own needs. I know I was guilty of this prior to my Lap Band Surgery. I never thought about what was best for me, or what would make me a better person. My thought process was if I please everyone else then my pleasure would come. Well guess what it didn’t. I continued down the same lonely path and trust me it was very sad and lonely. No one understood the pain I was in, because I didn’t share it with anyone. I was always the funny carefree person to the world but on the inside I was a sad lonely depressed woman.

Obesity is a terrible disease; it robs of our happiness, pleasure and most importantly of our self respect. For some reason we sub-consciously believe the lie we hear from society; we are lazy, unmotivated and unworthy. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Think back to when to you were going through the approval process; it was scary, frustrating and exciting all at the same time. This was it, you were finally going to get the weight off and be the person you have always longed to be. Then reality sets in about 2-3 months post-op “Work is involved” and commitment to the process is required.

Umm this is not what you signed up for; this was supposed to be the be-all end-all. Slowly you revert back to old patterns, you stop watching what you eat like you did immediately post op, you slack up on your exercise plan and then you just give up and say “Another diet that failed me”.

Do you know where this comes from? It comes from low self-esteem, low self-confidence and most importantly low self-worth. I know how you feel because it happened to me throughout my Lap Band journey.

I had my good days and good months; then something would shift and I would revert back to old patterns. This went on during year two and three of my journey.

Thankfully all that changed; after I got fed up with being fed up. I knew this was not what I had signed up for, I realized it is hard but it needs to be embraced. If it was easy or required no work or effort on my part where would the reward come from?

Making the decision to stay committed to my Lap Band journey is hard, but trust me the rewards outweigh the guilt, and the low self-worth.

I remembered back to when I was a little girl and all the dreams I had and how none of them had come true. For most that would be depressing; it actually inspired me. I had allowed Obesity to rob me of my dreams. Then I had my light-bulb moment. “Hey I’m not dead I can still make my dreams come true”. I realized I was “Worth the effort”. So my question to you is “Are you worth the effort?”

If you are having a hard time realizing you are worth it; think again. I believe in each and everyone of you. I am inspired by your courage to get on that table to change your life. Now is the time to embrace every change you are going to experience and allow yourself to be a priority. The happier you are, the better you are to everyone around you.

Cher Ewing, CC www.bandedtogether.net

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Are your emotions making you make poor food choices?

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In these emotional times it’s very easy to fall back into bad habits. I know I’m finding myself eating things I know I shouldn’t be eating. Sure we can all make the excuse “Good Food is too expensive”. Who suffers when we allow our minds to go there? We do!! I’ll give you an example of eating things I know I shouldn’t be eating. It was 10:30 on Saturday night I was starving, instead of going to the kitchen and making a shake or a bowl of cereal; I jumped into my car and went to Jack in the Box. My morbidly obese alter ego showed up and I ordered 2 tacos, onion rings and an egg roll. Now most of you know I consider “Saturday” my free day and I eat what I want without guilt. Okay this was beyond a free day, this was complete and total insanity. I knew as soon as I placed the order I wouldn’t/couldn’t eat everything I ordered. It was if I had stepped back into time and had no problem ordering all of that food. Sure enough I get home and sit down to eat this crap I had just ordered. I seriously only ate a small amount of the food; a couple bites of the taco, a couple of onion rings and a couple of bites of the egg roll. I had all of this food left over and knew I wouldn’t eat it the next day. This kind of food does not make good leftovers, nor should we want this as a leftover meal. Not only did I spend $6.43 on crap at 10:30 on a Saturday night, I wasted a ton of food. So what did I learn from this experience; I still have to fight my “Inner Fat Girl”.

Was it my emotions that allowed me to make that decision; you Betcha. I gave into an impulsive craving and just went for it. Bottom line is we can blame our poor eating choices on whatever we choose. I don’t want our emotions to be an excuse as to why we are making poor choices. Own it, accept it and then get back on track. After really thinking about it, I know what caused me to make the decision to drive thru at 10:30 and buy crap. I was sad and lonely and wanted food to comfort me. It had comforted me so many times in the past and this was going to be no different. The great news is it was different, it didn’t comfort me, it didn’t make me happy and yep you guessed it I was still lonely when I was done eating.

I was watching a report on the news the other day and it was saying as “Americans” we are turning to comfort food during these trying times. Most Americans are seeking comfort food to help them through. It’s cheaper and easier to feed a family. We can’t fall into this mind set/trap. As banded patients we have to make better choices. This is a lifestyle we signed up for, think of it as a marriage for better or worse we have to make good healthy choices. I am almost five years out, I know better. When I think of my “Free” day I do allow myself to eat foods that I would not eat during the week. However what I did Saturday night was much different. I allowed myself to go to the dark side, I let my inner “Fat Girl” take control, and I didn’t even try to fight it. I would encourage to look at what you’re eating and ask yourself “Why am I eating this”? Then be very honest with yourself, yes it will be hard but well worth the time to figure it out early instead of 20 pounds later.

If you are still finding yourself reaching for food to comfort you or to fill a void in your life contact me today, so we can discuss the void in your life. Together we will create a plan and get you on the road to weight loss success.

Cher Ewing, CC LAP-BAND/Realize Band Lifestyle Coach Author of “Transformation Caravan” Talk Show Host for “The Band Banter” Talk Show website: www.bandedtogether.net email: cher@bandedtogether.net Talk Show: www.blogtalkradio.com/thebandbantertalkshow Blog: www.thebandbantertalkshow.blogspot.com Book: www.lulu.com/transformationcaravan

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Band Meltdown Challenge

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The Band Meltdown Challenge is a 12-week healthy living contest. Participants are encouraged to record their progress with before and after photo’s. They are also asked to record their inner transformation in a short essay and they are judged on the quality of their outer and inner transformation.

Crucial steps to success in your Summer Band Meltdown Challenge

1. Register now for the Summer Band Meltdown Challenge
2. Take your “Before” photos
3. Start your transformation — Follow our exercises, empowerment and nutrition recommendations for best results.
4. Take your “After” photos
5. Record your inner transformation
6. Keep up the great work — Look what you’ve done in 12 weeks! Enjoy your progress, but continue on with your new healthy lifestyle.

As women we often look in the mirror and see an unattractive morbidly obese woman staring back at us. Stop looking in the mirror and seeing someone your not, reverse the images to allow yourself to embrace your inner thin person.

Lose the weight you want, feel better, improve your health and change the way you look at weight loss!

Access insider tips, advice and help from the experts Health & Wellness Coach Cher Ewing, Personal Trainer Christopher McClintock, Nutritionist Suzette Kroll.

Get motivated and stay on track with a community of your fellow bandsters.

Weekly tips from our nutritionist expert Suzette Kroll.

Weekly motivational and empowerment tips from our health & wellness expert Cher Ewing.

Weekly fitness tips from our personal trainer Christopher McClintock.

The official kick off date for the challenge is July 13, 2009 so register today.

Deadline to register is July 10, 2009

Join in on all the fun over at the Band Meltdown Challenge Website

Early bird registration is $75.00 must be registered by June 19, 2009

Registration after June 19, 2009 is $99.00

One Grand Master Champion will receive: A Forth of the total entry fee’s.

Register today for your chance to change your lifestyle and the chance to increase your bank as you decrease your waist.

www.bandedtogether.net

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Free Teleseminar

(The WLS Blueprint)

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Are you ready to feel healthier, happier, and stronger than ever before?

Are you ready to experience success on a whole new level?

Are you ready to create a life shift like no other?

Are you ready to embrace all the changes you will experience on your “WLS” journey?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you absolutely must be on my FREE preview call January 21st at 4 pm PST, 6 pm CST 7 pm EST.
This call is absolutely FREE, and I am going to be covering content that you will not want to miss – I guarantee it. I will be talking about “The “WLS” Blueprint: Embracing mind/body changes.

The WLS Blueprint Workshop

The WLS Blueprint Workshop is a comprehensive mind/body makeover that will change the way you look and feel, hopefully forever. It consists of four group coaching sessions that will serve as opportunities to evaluate yourself and your progress, as well as to discover a “new you” that can continue to refine, improve, and dazzle.

Reinvent yourself! Lose weight, have a total makeover, and develop dynamic interpersonal skills and self-confidence…all in one revolutionary program: The WLS Blueprint program is where a new lifestyle can become reality. You’ll have expert guidance in four key components of mind/body with Coach Cher. Everyone will see and know the difference!

FREE Telephone Seminar Wednesday, January 21th at 4 pm PST, 5 pm MST, 6 PM CST, 7 pm EST

PREVIEW CALL: The “WLS” Blueprint: Embracing mind/body changes…

Are you ready to experience your Best Year Ever?

Are you ready to feel healthier, happier, and stronger than ever before?

Are you ready to experience success on a whole new level?

Are you ready to create a life shift like no other?

Are you ready to embrace all the changes you will experience on your “WLS” journey?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you absolutely must be on my FREE preview call January 21st at 4 pm PST, 6 pm CST 7 pm EST.

This call is absolutely FREE (except for your long distance charges), and I am going to be covering content that you will not want to miss – I guarantee it. I will be talking about “The “WLS” Blueprint: Embracing mind/body changes.

To sign up for the free teleseminar visit https://www.bandedtogether.net/Workshops.php

Looking forward to hearing you on the call!!

~Coach Cher~

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Four Mistakes I Made This Year

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I’m all for celebrating successes, for relishing what’s working, for gargling the fine wine of glorious triumph.

Don’t let me stop you frolicking in the Yes’s. (In fact, I’d encourage you to do it even more than you’re doing now.)

But there’s wisdom in the No’s, in the “whoops”, in the “dang it … I fell for that again” as well.

Here are four mistakes that I made this year … and what I’ve been learning along the way.

1. Placing exercise on the back burner

I have been so busy building a business, working with clients and planning conferences; I placed my “Fitness” regimen on the back burner. I am enjoying all the new opportunities, the new clients I’m coaching, planning the National LAP-BAND Conferences.

Throughout all of this I was sluggish, worn out and just plain tired. Then it hit me I haven’t been working out. I remembered back to when I was working out regularly how energized I was.

So I made the commitment to exercise back in September and to my delight lost 20 pounds, I’m full of energy and my creative process is back in full force.

Have you placed your exercise regimen on the back burner? What can you do to make it a priority?

1. Making up stories of why not

Time and time again, my courage has failed me; this is what happens. I want to do something bold. And then immediately, like an old fashioned ticker-tape, I get a steady streaming message of reasons why I shouldn’t, why there are other easier things to do, why it wouldn’t work anyway.

When I’ve wimped out and not done it … nothing bad happened and nothing spectacular did either. When I summoned my courage, took a breath and stepped into the unknown and made the bold request … sometimes nothing happened and sometimes, fantastically, something did.

What’s the story you’ve got going on about what you can’t do?

1. Forgetting to eat

Trust me this is a new concept for me, I’ve never forgotten to eat in my life. I have my protein shake in the morning with my 20 oz glass of water, do my work out then go into my office and start working. I’m coaching with clients, exchanging emails with colleagues, booking guest for “The Band Banter” Talk Show and the list goes on and on.

Then I get this ginormous headache about three in the afternoon and it dawns on my I have not had anything to eat since seven in the morning. Food is fuel; it’s what keeps us going. I now set my alarm at noon so I can take a break to eat. I know that sounds crazy, it’s crazy to me. We have to “Eat to Live; not Live to Eat”.

Have you started skipping meals? What can you do to ensure you get daily nourishment?

1. Stopped breathing

Busy! This year’s been crazy-busy. I like to think that I’m not one to think that busy is some sort of perverse badge of honor, some mark of “look how important I am”, I’ve barely got time to put on makeup.

Except, I get seduced by that story of Busy = Important too. And as I’ve rushed here and there, worked on weekends, stretched myself thin, I’ve noticed this: The faster I run, the less I breathe.

When I remember to take a breath, when I stop thinking this is All Very Very Important, things get a little calmer, a little less stressful, a little easier.

What have you promoted to Extremely Important? How much value do you place in being Busy?

What mistakes did you make in 2008?

Let me know in the comment section of the blog.

I’d love to hear what you’ve been learning!

Cher Ewing,CC

www.bandedtogether.net

cher@bandedtogether.net

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Too Tight or Just Right

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Too Tight or Just Right

Okay I’m sure each one of you has a fickle band like me. It is enough to drive you insane, one day you’re wide open and the next your band is so tight you can only take two or three bites and your done. I know, I know, I’ve been there done that, it actually happened to me last week. I was eating a ham steak; took three bites and I could feel the tightness in my chest. At lunch I had chicken tacos and was able to eat just fine. How can that be? It boils down to the actual food we are eating, some foods are more dense than others so it makes it harder or easier to get full, depending on how you look at it.

Take what I ate for example. The ham steak was much thicker than the cubed chicken I had at lunch. I waited too long to eat and basically tried to scarf my food. I should have taken the time to chew the ham much more than I did the chicken cubes. Had I taken the time to really chew the ham I could have had more than three bites. We are all guilty of this, we eat too fast and don’t chew well enough then we get frustrated because we want to eat more but we can’t. Don’t get upset if you take a couple of bites and you’re full, it’s one meal. I hear this all time “I only had three bites and I couldn’t eat anymore”. I know how it feels it still happens to me even four years out.

When this happens to some band patients; they automatically think that’s it “I’m too tight and I need an un- fill”. Look at what you ate and how fast you ate; it can be as easy as slowing down and paying attention to how you are eating. We have to be aware of what we are doing as patients and not be so quick to blame our fill amount.

I have stated this before and it’s worth repeating, if you are stressed or eat too fast this can cause premature fullness. If this is happening to you from time to time, start paying attention to your eating patterns.

A. Are you waiting until you are starving to eat, then you try to scarf down your food? Don’t let yourself get to this point, eat well before you reach starvation mode. B. Do you test your band to see if you can eat something? If you do that’s fine just make sure you are chewing to liquid before you swallow. This will help you avoid PB’s. C. Are you getting stuck every time you eat, no matter what the food is? If this is happening you could be too tight and need to schedule an appointment with your surgeon. D. Do you choose band friendly meals because you know you can eat it? It’s okay to eat softer foods if you are going out or will be with a big group. However don’t make it a common food choice just because you know you can get it down.

I know it can get frustrating from time to time. Try to be patient and honest with yourself before you decide if you’re too tight or just right.

Cher Ewing, CC Certfied Life & Wellness Coach website: www.bandedtogether.net email: cher@bandedtogether.net

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Call Roto Rooter I’m stuck

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How many times have you had a fill; then bam you can no longer eat like you could before? I hear this from clients all the time “I get stuck all the time”. After years of being banded I completely understand this concept and the frustration that comes with it.

I have discovered three golden rules to help minimize getting stuck.

Golden Rule One- Take smaller bites. Trust me this is a new concept for us bandsters. However our pouch is not designed for larger bites any longer so please take smaller bites; this will help you avoid getting stuck as much.

Golden Rule Two- Chew your food to liquid form before you swallow. This is probably the hardest rule to follow; I know it was for me anyway. If you take too large of a bite and have to chew it to liquid form you are going to get frustrated, angry and dread eating. By following rule one makes rule two much easier to follow.

Golden Rule Three- Don’t eat if you are stressed or angry. The band is very fickle and will tighten up on you if you are stressed or angry. When you sit down to eat; try to be as calm and relaxed as you can. A lot of us start feeling anxiety right before we eat because we are afraid of getting stuck. This is actually causing a double negative. We are worried about getting stuck before we even eat so we cause an adverse effect with our band. Think back to your pre-band days and how relaxed you were when you would sit down to eat a meal. There was no stress or anxiety about eating, well guess what it should be that way now as well.

If you follow these three golden rules eating a meal should be much easier. Now of course if you are following “The Three Golden Rules” and you are still getting stuck you may very well be too tight. If this is the case contact your surgeon to have some of your fill removed.

As you are learning to eat with your tool be kind and patient with yourself. There is a learning curve you need to overcome. It is a foreign concept to us learning how to eat again after all these years. The more you follow the golden rules the more enjoyable your eating journey will be.

Cher Ewing, CC

Certified Life & Wellness Coach

website: www.bandedtogether.net

email: cher@bandedtogether.net

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Hit a WLS Road Block?

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Hit a Road Block, take a detour

Ahh the dreaded plateau, what to do? Well actually there are several things you can be doing to get the scale moving again. First and foremost you have to be “Honest” with yourself are you following a diet, exercise plan which you actually enjoy.

Let’s be real here, if we are not eating foods we enjoy or participating in a workout program we love (yes I said the “L” word) chances are we are not going to stick with it.

Try journaling for a week to see if you’re really getting in enough calories and enough movement to actually have an impact on the scale. If you’re not getting enough calories this can cause the scale to stop moving. This will also give you a clear idea of what you’re doing well and where you’re missing the mark.

Our bodies know us better than we know ourselves. If we listen to what our body needs-wants we can work with it rather than against it. I know I hate this saying as much as the next guy but it is true “Calories in-Calories out”. If you want the scale to move; you yourself have to move as well.

This is not Rocket Science, if you follow just one rule you have ever learned about diet and exercise you will have results. Remember you had surgery on your stomach not your brain. Don’t let that little voice tell you it’s okay to eat “Junk” and expect to see results.

This is my weekly routine. I eat very well (follow the rules) 6 days a week and I workout 6 days a week. The workout I follow is by Gunnar Peterson “Core Secrets”. Then on the 7th day I give myself a free day and I don’t follow any rules.

Seriously no matter what program you choose to follow, you have to find the right balance. If you have the mind set you’re never going to eat your favorite foods again then you are setting yourself up for failure. If you follow your program for 6 days then give yourself a “Free Day” you are not depriving yourself and you will see the results you want and deserve.

I challenge you to follow this routine and watch the results. You will be blown away at how easy it is to stick to your program once you start.

Drop me and email and let me know how you’re doing.

Cher Ewing, CC Life & Wellness Coach website: www.bandedtogether.net email: cher@bandedtogether.net

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Have you played this game?

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I know when I signed up for my surgery I had all sorts of high hopes this was the be all-end all and my life was going to be what I finally wanted it to be. Well as many of you know that’s not what happened to me. For those of you who are not familiar with my story, I’ll give you the brief overview.

I was only half commited to my post-op lifestyle, I had expected my Lap-band Surgery to do a lot more than it actually did. I really believed I had found my “Magic-Bullet” and I would be on the road to losing weight and getting fit. Well I did the first year, very little effort on my part and I lost sixty pounds. After the first year everything came to a screeching halt, no weight loss or weight gain in a year, not bad uhh? After two years of staying the exact same I finally had to have the “Heart to Heart” with myself.

Are you happy with who are now? “NO!”

If you don’t lose another pound will you be happy? “NO!”

Are you willing to commit to a completely new “LIFESTYLE”? “YES”

What are you going to do to make it happen? “Adjust my eating and exercise”

I’m sure you have “Played this game”! What kind of talk did you have with yourself? Did anything change after you had the talk? I’m asking you to be very honest with “YOU” not anyone else.

I can honestly say I have had that talk with myself on more than one occasion, but this time something stuck. Maybe it’s because I’m in my forties now and have really embraced the gift I’ve received.

Here are some other things that I’ve learned that have helped me to stay on track:

· Get plenty of rest. · Eat slowly and chew my food thoroughly. · Eat until I’m satisfied, not “Thanksgiving full”. · Find an exercise program I really enjoy · Drink more water. · List all of the things for which I am grateful.

So, here’s my challenge to you: Try these suggestions for 1 month and notice how differently you feel, physically as well as emotionally. If you find that you feel better, and are experiencing some new sensations in your body and attitude, then consider extending this experiment for another month. This time, add one or two things that would introduce a small degree of change to your life. This last one is key: introducing too much change too fast just sets you up for failure, so keep it simple. I like the KISS acronym: Keep It Simple, Silly.

I would love to hear your feedback. How are you feeling about the changes you are experiencing?

Cher Ewing, CC

Certified Life & Wellness Coach Author of “Transformation Caravan” Radio Host for “The New You” Radio Show website: www.bandedtogether.net email: cher@bandedtogether.net

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