Food and Feelings
(Learn to Make the Connection)
By: Louisa Latela, MSW, LCSW
People who struggle with obesity often eat in response to feelings other than physical hunger. For many eating is a most reliable coping mechanism. It can soothe a broken heart, relieve feelings of boredom, calm the internal turmoil caused by anxiety and stress, and be a friend when one is feeling lonely or unloved. Because overeating becomes a way of life for the compulsive eater, it is often done unconsciously. If you want to gain control over your eating behaviors it is imperative that you become aware of the role that excess weight and compulsive eating has played in your life. If you find you have been using food to manage uncomfortable emotions it is important that you develop new ways of dealing with such feelings. However, before you can change a behavior you must first be aware that it exists. Below is a series of questions you can ask yourself in an effort to understand when/why you may be eating in response to feelings other than hunger:
Before you eat (or drink) anything ask yourself, “Am I physically hungry?” (If you’ve already started eating/drinking, stop for a moment.)
If the answer is YES ask yourself:
Is this what I am truly hungry for?
How will I feel about 20 or 30 minutes after I have eaten this?
How is my energy level generally after I’ve eaten this kind of food? In the past when I have eaten this kind of food how have I felt physically, mentally, and emotionally?
Will eating this food support what I want to create in my life?”
(now that you have gone through this process you may decide to choose another food to eat.)
Once you have chosen a food: Eat slowly, consciously, and without distraction.
Be present with and enjoy the food. Notice its appearance, textures, temperature and really pay attention to the flavors of the food.
Check in with your Hunger and Fullness signals, and stop eating when you are comfortable, knowing that you can always eat more when you are hungry again.
(If you are still not experiencing hunger due to WLS before you eat/drink anything ask yourself if you are eating/drinking something that will contribute to meeting your daily requirements of protein, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, and minerals.)
If the answer is NO you are not physically hungry (or if you’ve had wls and are not wanting to eat in accordance with your meal plan):
1.Take a deep breath.
2.Take another deep breath!
3.Take one more deep breath!!!
4.Then ask yourself the following questions with kindness, compassion and curiosity:
Why am I wanting to eat right now? What kind of nurturing do I really need in this moment? What was I just thinking, feeling, or doing? What would I be doing, thinking, or feeling if I was not focused on food right now…. what is this stopping me from being present to?
5.If at all possible take a moment to journal (a piece of scrap paper will do!). Write down anything that you are thinking or feeling in this moment. Notice any sensations in your body and note them in your journaling. Is there something else that that can “satisfy your hunger”….
6.If after doing this you still choose to eat: ENJOY YOURSELF!!!! EAT WITH PASSION AND PRESENCE!!!
Just begin to notice what is happening when you are wanting to eat for reasons other than physical hunger. Remember: before you can change a behavior you first have to be aware that it exists. Taking the deep breaths when you notice that you are not eating in response to physical hunger or to meet your food plan guidelines gives you a few moments to relax and check in with yourself. This will allow you to become conscious of your thoughts and feelings in that moment. You can then respond to your environment rather than react to it. If after doing this exercise you choose to eat knowing you are not physically hungry at least it is a conscious decision. In that way you begin to take responsibility for your behaviors and their consequences.. And ultimately your life.
Have you made the connection between food and feelings or are you still struggling to make the connection? I’d love to talk with you about it! Leave a comment here or you can email me at louisa@louisalatela.com. Soon this blog will be available as a podcast. You can listen to it at: http://yourhighestgood.podomatic.com.
